In the entire field of social sciences, parenting is arguably one of the most researched areas. How important is it for young parents to know the dos and don’ts in parenting? Well, it not only affects a child’s life, rather it influences the lives of parents as individuals and as a family.
It has been observed that good parenting results in safeguarding one’s child from anti-social behavior, anxiety, drug abuse, depression, and other disorders. It also helps promote self-control, cheerfulness, co-operation, self-reliance, motivation, honesty, kindness, and a sense of achievement.
So what should we do in order to become good parents? One way of looking at this is by getting to know the behavior/habits that should be avoided. Some of them are listed below.
Your children would do as they see you do. They watch and observe how you deal with situations and they repeat to reinforce what they’ve learned. So before making shouting on someone, throwing something away in anger or stomping the floor, ask yourself: ‘What am I doing? What would my kids think about me as a person?”
Staying away from your child’s life
This takes time & effort along with a sacrifice of your personal desires/goals. You have to rearrange your priorities and be ready to spend some time with your child. Just physically sitting there won’t work, you have to be present mentally as well.
Having no rules in your home may allow unnecessary freedom for your child which may prove to be extremely dangerous. During the day, you must be aware of where your child is, with whom s/he is, and what s/he’s doing. When they grow up and reach high school, let them decide what they want to do and offer advice if necessary.
Not letting the child become independent
Often parents see independence as a way of losing their control over the child. But it is important for them to understand that encouraging independence helps foster the child’s self-confidence and self-direction which are critical success factors for any human being. Parents should realize that their child wants to feel in control rather than being controlled by someone.
Inconsistency in style
When parents’ established rules change very frequently and unpredictably, children get confused and do something that falls under the category of ‘misbehavior’ as per our new rules. This is solely the mistake on the parents’ part. Therefore, it is essential to become consistent in style and focus on exercising authority via wisdom rather than power.
Beating, spanking, slapping or severely shouting at children negatively affects them. This is perhaps why ‘bullies’ are made. They get beaten up at home and they pour all their anger onto other kids in class. They adopt aggression as a means of getting things done. So, a harsh discipline would certainly not make a parent ‘good’.
Disrespecting your child
Give respect and earn respect. We must acknowledge that this saying also works with children. Parents should therefore treat their kids respectfully & kindly, talk to them politely, and give credit to their opinion. Parents’ relationship with their child should be courteous as this is how they would treat others they come in contact with.
So avoid doing all of these menaces for achieving a better relationship with your child. When parents’ relationship with each other is good, the relationship with the child would automatically become good. Have a happy and blessed life with your child!